Sometimes I wish I could change some things in the past. While I don’t regret anything, I just know it would’ve helped me now more than ever.
My heart and my mind are kind of messed up, to be honest. I talk about building my strength, but really I’m scared and vulnerable. I was cheated on and lied to over a year ago and that has taken it’s toll on me. After that happening, I kept trying to fill the emptiness inside me in all the wrong ways, with all the wrong guys. I lowered my standards because I wanted to please them to keep them around, but it turns out they were all uncommitted. I was left wondering not necessarily that something was wrong with me, rather ‘why wasn’t I enough?’ I know how to love a guy. I know how to make a guy know that I think about him. I’m not perfect in a relationship, but I’m very open and honest. I communicate well…. At least I did.
Now, I do have a budding relationship. It hasn’t been that long, but I want this to last. I’m scared as hell. I want to express my feelings, but I don’t want to scare him away. I want to be affectionate as much as I can, but I don’t want to seem clingy.
At night, after all I’ve been through… A million thoughts flood my mind. Sometimes I wonder… Is he going to do the same thing? No, he’s not. He’s so sweet.
It’s just that, I love the way me and him met. I was at a country dance club called Cadillac Ranch. I was sitting down when this girl approached me and said “do you have a boyfriend”, taken back, I replied “no” and she responded “well, you might now” and shoves a guy towards me. So me and him danced and he stayed around me the whole night. So I gave him my number.
Our first date after that we went to a little fair in town. He was a little shy, as was I, but on a ride he says “can I ask you something? … If you were a pirate would you put your parrot on this shoulder..or this shoulder” all the while putting his arm around me. Cheesy, but I am a big fan of those. I think it’s cute.
So now, I’m with this amazing guy. I don’t think I can tell a better story than him. Which is why I’m so scared. I want him to be the one. I don’t want to be wrong. I care about him a lot, and eventually I’ll tell him “I love you”. But I’m even scared to do that. My heart desires it. I deserve it. And I hope what I deserve is him.
I can’t tell a better story than him.
There is a difference between sexy and sexual. When man was created, man was created naked. When man bit the “apple”, sin entered the world and all of a sudden the human body was something to be ashamed of. I don’t think it is.
The human body is something beautifully designed by God. Society has placed these restrictions on the body. I mean, think about it… had Eve never of eaten the fruit.. we would still be naked and nobody would care. With that being said, I know that things have changed and we have to cover our bodies because sin exist. However, aren’t sculptures and paintings of the human body beautiful? I think so. It’s just people made something meant to be beautiful into something sexual.
I keep seeing/reading posted articles about “modesty”. Articles stating that I shouldn’t wear yoga pants or bikinis because I’m a christian woman that shouldn’t temp the lustful man.
As far as I’m concerned… I wear yoga pants because they’re comfortable and easy to work out in. They’re nice for comfortable work pants and just relaxing. I wear a bikini because I don’t like one-piece tan lines. I do have a body that I love, and I feel like I look good in a bikini.
While some women do flaunt their bodies for men, some women wear these things for themselves.
Never have I put on a bikini or my yoga pants and thought “I’m wearing this to catch a guys attention to my body”. If a guy struggles with his lust, I should change my comfort for him? No thanks. If I were to get raped because I was wearing a bikini or skin fitting clothes, it’s my fault? NO!
It doesn’t matter if you dress like a nun… one of your bodily features makes a cameo every once in a while. If a guy has a lustful mind, no matter what you wear can trigger his imagination.
Wearing bikinis or Yoga pants doesn’t make me or any other woman a less modest christian than the next. It’s not a sin. These arguments are opinionated and the “bible-thumping” mess that I cannot stand.
Wear what makes you happy.
If my yoga pants or bikini is such a distraction, maybe I should say that guys should start wearing a shirt on the beach because them being shirtless temps my lustful character. They shouldn’t wear muscle fitting clothes at the gym either… cause that just does it all for me.
Princess Emilia <33
Things I’ll teach my children (via ramengirl48)
parents say: i didn’t raise you that way
true, because I did.
Parents, you raise your child up until about age 12 when they’re starting 6th grade. After that, your words might shape their opinions, but they start to learn who they are as a person. By 9th grade, they’ve gone through most of their hormonal/puberty stage and being to experience the world even more and start developing their own opinions. They begin to disagree with your beliefs because they have their own now.
Once your child is 18, they become an “adult” and they realize that now I have freedom when they’re at college, driving to hang out with friends because they want to, or living on their own.
You raised me to an extent, but then I raised myself and became my own person with my own thoughts, opinions, and ways that I want to live MY life… not yours.
Unknown (via intensional)